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Bman505
02-02-2009, 05:15 PM
This is on Craigs list. Not sure it really happened or not , but it is funny as hell.
> Subject: Craig's list posting> Date: Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:39:06 -0500> A craigslist posting someone found and linked. > > > > To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) I was the guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!
- Alex

bang bang
02-05-2009, 08:54 AM
That is great stuff. I bet the BG felt like a dumb ass.

Descreet38
02-06-2009, 06:17 PM
OMG - this is a riot. In 1984 something like this happened to me - I was called in the middle of the night (2:30 AM) by a niece whose car wouldn't start. She was a dancer at a club and called me (youngest uncle) because I wouldn’t share this info with family. Anyway, we're looking at her car and decide to just leave it when we were approached by 3 young men with other than honorable intentions.

I told them that they should go elsewhere when they demanded my wallet at knifepoint but of course they insisted. You should have seen the look on their faces when I just calmly reached back and came up with a Colt 1911 pointed directly at them.

Unfortunately for them I did have a cell phone in my vehicle - hey, remember the old "bag" phone.

Phone call the lead bad guy made went like this.

911 - What is your emergency?

BG - I need to speak with Joanne - after a few seconds.

Joanne, Dez wants me to let you know that I and two of my bros just tried to rob him down by Club H. We are sitting in the parking lot and he is holding a gun on us while we make this call. Please hurry because he says for every five minutes it takes for you to get her he is going to shoot one of us.

About 3 minutes later two squad cars pull up. They don't have lights on or anything. As the doors open the laughter was very apparent. Up walks one officer who was my next door neighbor and the other officer was a guy I went to college with. They were just roaring with laughter.

Here are three huge guys huddled back to back- cross legged and sitting on their legs completely nude in the parking lot. My niece, the club owner and I were just leaned up against my pickup waiting for them. After they were booked my neice an I met up with the officers for breakfast and she bought.

Oh yeah, who is Joanne - she was my mom - a Major with the local police department. She and I laughed about this for many years.

Bman505
02-06-2009, 06:52 PM
Are you for real. This is funny.